Last night, I went to see the movie, The Adjustment Bureau.
I thought it was an excellent movie and more than that, it was thought-provoking and incited me to really examine myself. As I watched the movie, I realized a lot about myself and my view of life and purpose.
I don't want to get into the plot of the movie, but I wanted to share something that stood out to me and how I plan to apply it to my life.
LOVE IS OUR PURPOSE.
I am a strong believer in God. And I truly understand the power of Love and how when God is in our lives, we will know how to love.
However, sometimes, I tend to be so "purpose-driven," that I neglect the importance of LOVE in my life. Receiving love from others and also showing love to others.
I believe that I know how to love, but at the point where it "interferes" with my purpose, I don't always focus on it.
However, LOVE is the foundation of our purpose in life.
Then, I thought about 1 Corinthians 13, which is the scripture where Paul talks about Love. Sometimes, I focus on the part that says what Love is, but I was forced to think about the first part of that passage which is,
"1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing."
So, as I think about it, Paul was saying that nothing we do in life matters if we don't have love. I may have gifts and be able to do great THINGS for God, but if I don't have love, then it doesn't matter.
The movie reinforces this thought. Love is the central theme even though when you watch it you might think that the central theme is purpose. But, that's just it...LOVE IS OUR PURPOSE! And we should make every effort to walk and live in love...in love with God and with each other.
If you've seen it, let me know what you think and what you took away from it!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Recognize I'm Back!
Ok, so I was thinking the other day about how my life has completely changed over the past couple of years.
But, most of the changes, even those that were tumultuous, were for my good and have worked out to be for the best!
I recognize, now, that who I became for about 7 years was not who I was at all.
I was walking around with straight, flat hair, an affect just as flat, wearing no make up, not communicating and relating to my friends on a regular basis, and without LIFE!
Sure, I was alive, but I wasn't LIVING!
I was simply existing and surviving in my chosen environment.
Now, as I enter in another Spring season of LIFE, I'm so grateful to be BACK to myself.
Through my hair journey, I've rediscovered who I am and what is important to me.
I believe that this energy that's so inspired by my hair gives me the confidence to be myself and know that who I am is actually ok.
I don't have to dumb down, water down and play down who I am.
As women, or even people, we should have the freedom to walk out our purposed life journey with only a concern for who God wants us to be.
To be able to live life to the fullest, without regard to what others say about me is a great feeling.
It's nice to be free from the judgment of others and be able to live for God the way HE wants me to live.
I'm on a journey.
I'm walking towards the vision that God has given me for my life...
And, I feel glad about it!
Can I get an Amen!?
LOL
But, most of the changes, even those that were tumultuous, were for my good and have worked out to be for the best!
I recognize, now, that who I became for about 7 years was not who I was at all.
I was walking around with straight, flat hair, an affect just as flat, wearing no make up, not communicating and relating to my friends on a regular basis, and without LIFE!
Sure, I was alive, but I wasn't LIVING!
I was simply existing and surviving in my chosen environment.
Now, as I enter in another Spring season of LIFE, I'm so grateful to be BACK to myself.
Through my hair journey, I've rediscovered who I am and what is important to me.
I believe that this energy that's so inspired by my hair gives me the confidence to be myself and know that who I am is actually ok.
I don't have to dumb down, water down and play down who I am.
As women, or even people, we should have the freedom to walk out our purposed life journey with only a concern for who God wants us to be.
To be able to live life to the fullest, without regard to what others say about me is a great feeling.
It's nice to be free from the judgment of others and be able to live for God the way HE wants me to live.
I'm on a journey.
I'm walking towards the vision that God has given me for my life...
And, I feel glad about it!
Can I get an Amen!?
LOL
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Don't wanna get stuck...
As I pay attention to what's going on in my life and compare it to what's happening with my hair, I've noticed, yet again, that the two coincide.
I have been in a state of "transition" in my professional career and personal life. I'm at a point in between where I was and where I'm going to be; if that makes sense.
I am in a phase of action and rest.
I must take the steps to move closer to my destiny, but I almost must rest so I can hear and feel what I'm supposed to do.
In my personal life, I am developing and cultivating a new friendship that has the potential to be a great, long-lasting one. But, still I must move as well as wait; being careful not to confuse myself in the process.
So, what's up with my hair?
Well, I've been wearing my hair in the same styles since becoming fully natural. I've tried various products and stylists. So, I feel that now I've gone as far as my current skill level will take me and I'm in a state of transition with my hair. So, I believe that it's time for me to start to learn how to do more to my OWN hair. I must take the initiative to learn some new styling techniques and develop the patience to allow myself to try and fail.
Thankfully, youtube and blogs like curlynikki and naturalchica are out there to help me. I'll rely on my other natural sisters to teach me.
The last thing I want to happen is to get stuck into a specific way of wearing the natural and losing my creativity and individualism on this journey.
I have been in a state of "transition" in my professional career and personal life. I'm at a point in between where I was and where I'm going to be; if that makes sense.
I am in a phase of action and rest.
I must take the steps to move closer to my destiny, but I almost must rest so I can hear and feel what I'm supposed to do.
In my personal life, I am developing and cultivating a new friendship that has the potential to be a great, long-lasting one. But, still I must move as well as wait; being careful not to confuse myself in the process.
So, what's up with my hair?
Well, I've been wearing my hair in the same styles since becoming fully natural. I've tried various products and stylists. So, I feel that now I've gone as far as my current skill level will take me and I'm in a state of transition with my hair. So, I believe that it's time for me to start to learn how to do more to my OWN hair. I must take the initiative to learn some new styling techniques and develop the patience to allow myself to try and fail.
Thankfully, youtube and blogs like curlynikki and naturalchica are out there to help me. I'll rely on my other natural sisters to teach me.
The last thing I want to happen is to get stuck into a specific way of wearing the natural and losing my creativity and individualism on this journey.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Growth requires honesty and commitment
Yesterday, as I talked to my friend Crystal about the current state of her hair, I realized a few things through her hair journey.
Crystal has been natural for over 10 years. So she came into the game before it was a "trend" or movement. Since her first big chop she has worn Afros, twist outs, braids, head wraps, had other big chops and other styles. For much of the past 10 yrs her relationship and treatment of her hair resembled the flow and movement of her life's experiences. One day, I'm sure you will read about some of those in a book OR maybe even a guest post on my blog. (Wink wink).
However, a few yrs ago she moved back home to care for her mother who was in kidney failure (last October she was blessed with a kidney transplant). Well, the verdict is still out on the reason why she experienced it but Crystal found herself in a situation where she was losing hair. Her hair was breaking off and shedding in an unhealthy way. She knew she needed to focus on it and get it to grow again but she was honest with herself. She knew that the combo of everything going on in her life and her lack of desire to actually commit to the work of cultivating her hair was not a good one. So she made the decision to get her first sew-in. She was committed to growth but she was honest with herself about her comfort level of involvement in the process.
Since making that decision last year, she has been wearing sew-ins and making sure her hair and scalp stays clean, moisturized and conditioned. Recently, she got a "fresh" sew-in and she reported to me that her hair has grown and is much healthier.
SN: I was a lil perturbed because she didn't let me see it...
But she said that she's happy about the progress she's made with her hair.
I think her process resembles the process of many of us who want growth. We sometimes see the damage or breakage in certain areas of our lives and we know something must be done. But, we are not honest with ourselves about the level of commitment or involvement we are comfortable with. If we were more honest with ourselves and came up with alternate ideas about how to achieve our desired outcome, we would probably succeed.
I believe Crystal experienced some personal growth from this process as well because she made a point to tell me that in years prior she had not been upfront with herself about her willingness to work with her hair. She would do different things to it and sometimes would just cut it off and start over. But, this time she did something different. She had a goal in mind and she knew what she would and wouldn't do; so she aligned her actions and choices with that. I believe that her expectancy was different this time as well because she knew she was doing something she had never done before.
I have learned a lot from her story of growth and as I continue on my journey I'll be mindful that growth requires honesty and commitment.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Men are Allowed...
Yesterday, I was talking to two male friends (De'Von and Jaymar) about their hair.
The topic came up because when I said hello to Jaymar, the very first thing I noticed was his growing hair and facial hair. I asked him about his "bush" and he said that he is going to grow out his hair (scalp and facial) throughout 2011.
When asked why he made that choice, he said he's on some "new things" and when I asked him to elaborate, he mentioned that his hair was becoming a symbol of strength and that he wants to grow it out. I immediately thought about Samson, in the Bible, who's great spiritual and physical strength was because of his vow to never cut his hair. I became excited for Jaymar because I know that if he is looking at his hair in that way, he's going to experience something awesome from the commitment to grow his hair.
So, then De'Von, who is my close friend, jokingly told him that he should contribute to my blog. However, as he thought about what he was saying, he mentioned that he, too, is growing out his hair and he mentioned two reasons that stood out to me, as I reflected on my personal hair journey.
1. He is growing out his hair in order to change the texture of his hair. He wants to bring out his natural curls. He said he feels more like himself when his hair is longer than when he has a short haircut.
2. He feels like he IS on a hair journey because if his hair is growing, he thinks he should be growing, too.
This made me start to think about my hair journey and how much I could relate to what he said. As my hair grew out, I remember working hard to train my hair and cultivate a new texture. As my hair grew, the texture began to change and my natural curl pattern grew out. This was so symbolic of my spiritual transformation at the time as well, because as my hair was changing, so was I. I was changing "back" to my natural state/personality, that I had lost (or relinquished) throughout my marriage.
I was so excited when De'Von mentioned that he feels like maybe he is on a hair journey. His statement about hair growth = personal growth was so awesome because growth has definitely been a benefit of my hair journey. I have grown personally in so many ways and I can attribute much of that to the connection between my spirit and my hair. As my hair grows and changes, so does my character, professionalism, purpose, friendships, relationships, etc.
I'm so excited for De'Von and Jaymar and I plan to check in with them from time to time. Maybe they will even contribute to the blog and share their journeys with some of the men!!!
The topic came up because when I said hello to Jaymar, the very first thing I noticed was his growing hair and facial hair. I asked him about his "bush" and he said that he is going to grow out his hair (scalp and facial) throughout 2011.
When asked why he made that choice, he said he's on some "new things" and when I asked him to elaborate, he mentioned that his hair was becoming a symbol of strength and that he wants to grow it out. I immediately thought about Samson, in the Bible, who's great spiritual and physical strength was because of his vow to never cut his hair. I became excited for Jaymar because I know that if he is looking at his hair in that way, he's going to experience something awesome from the commitment to grow his hair.
So, then De'Von, who is my close friend, jokingly told him that he should contribute to my blog. However, as he thought about what he was saying, he mentioned that he, too, is growing out his hair and he mentioned two reasons that stood out to me, as I reflected on my personal hair journey.
1. He is growing out his hair in order to change the texture of his hair. He wants to bring out his natural curls. He said he feels more like himself when his hair is longer than when he has a short haircut.
2. He feels like he IS on a hair journey because if his hair is growing, he thinks he should be growing, too.
This made me start to think about my hair journey and how much I could relate to what he said. As my hair grew out, I remember working hard to train my hair and cultivate a new texture. As my hair grew, the texture began to change and my natural curl pattern grew out. This was so symbolic of my spiritual transformation at the time as well, because as my hair was changing, so was I. I was changing "back" to my natural state/personality, that I had lost (or relinquished) throughout my marriage.
I was so excited when De'Von mentioned that he feels like maybe he is on a hair journey. His statement about hair growth = personal growth was so awesome because growth has definitely been a benefit of my hair journey. I have grown personally in so many ways and I can attribute much of that to the connection between my spirit and my hair. As my hair grows and changes, so does my character, professionalism, purpose, friendships, relationships, etc.
I'm so excited for De'Von and Jaymar and I plan to check in with them from time to time. Maybe they will even contribute to the blog and share their journeys with some of the men!!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
A weekend dedicated to Hair and Friendship!!!
this journey is amazing!
Sometimes, we need a refreshing and a little boost in order to remain encouraged as we press towards our destiny.
I just had the best weekend!
I traveled to Atlanta to visit my friend Naja and attend the Bronner Brothers hair show.
Friday evening, Naja and I attended a natural hair meet-up sponsored by CurlyNikki
www.curlynikki.com
We were so inspired and encouraged when we saw the widespread diversity within the natural hair community. Truly, natural hair divas has become a culture and there's so much versatility and diversity with styles and personal "swag" options!
My natural hair choice is all about my life's journey and to see so many women embracing the freedom and joy that comes from this choice was EXCITING!
The Bronner Brothers hair show was also a great experience and I have a greater and deeper level of respect for hair stylists. They invest a lot of energy, training and money into making people feel and look good about themselves, and for that I'm appreciative!
One of the best parts about this visit, though, was some great quality time between my friend and I. We've been friends for almost 19 years and we've been through alot with each other. As we get older, it's important for us to maintain and continue to develop our friendship. We're both adults now living very different lives in two different cities, but the bond of friendship goes beyond state borders and marital status.
Naja, this blog post is dedicated to you!
I look forward to continuing our friendship in hopes that we will strengthen, encourage, develop, grow and experience each other in new and different ways!
I love you my sisterfriend!
Sometimes, we need a refreshing and a little boost in order to remain encouraged as we press towards our destiny.
I just had the best weekend!
I traveled to Atlanta to visit my friend Naja and attend the Bronner Brothers hair show.
Friday evening, Naja and I attended a natural hair meet-up sponsored by CurlyNikki
www.curlynikki.com
We were so inspired and encouraged when we saw the widespread diversity within the natural hair community. Truly, natural hair divas has become a culture and there's so much versatility and diversity with styles and personal "swag" options!
My natural hair choice is all about my life's journey and to see so many women embracing the freedom and joy that comes from this choice was EXCITING!
The Bronner Brothers hair show was also a great experience and I have a greater and deeper level of respect for hair stylists. They invest a lot of energy, training and money into making people feel and look good about themselves, and for that I'm appreciative!
One of the best parts about this visit, though, was some great quality time between my friend and I. We've been friends for almost 19 years and we've been through alot with each other. As we get older, it's important for us to maintain and continue to develop our friendship. We're both adults now living very different lives in two different cities, but the bond of friendship goes beyond state borders and marital status.
Naja, this blog post is dedicated to you!
I look forward to continuing our friendship in hopes that we will strengthen, encourage, develop, grow and experience each other in new and different ways!
I love you my sisterfriend!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
these are my confessions...
So, I have a CONFESSION!!
I am AFRAID!
WOW...that was more difficult than I thought it would be!
I am admitting to everyone (ok, whoever will read this), that I deal with fear!
Why in the world would I be afraid?
I didn't really know how to describe my fear until TODAY after a conversation with a friend and mentor who guided me to this conclusion:
I'm afraid of myself!
I know that doesn't make much sense, but this is what I'm saying...
I'm afraid of the power that is within me!
I'm afraid of the consequences AND responsibilities that come with who I am and who God made me.
I'm afraid of doing the things that I am purposed to do because of what will happen as a result (in my life and the lives of others)...change, growth, empowerment, increased knowledge, new life, joy, wealth, etc.
I'm afraid of myself!
As soon as I started writing this post, I thought about the famous quote by Franklin Roosevelt where he said the "only thing to fear is fear itself" but what in the world does that mean to me?
It means that when I fear I LOSE my power.
So, I should actually fear being afraid because it leaves me powerless.
It keeps me from moving into my purpose and destiny and keeps me in a place of uncertainty, doubt, lack, and despair.
Well, TODAY, I am making the decision to acknowledge the fear and walk away from it.
- I am determined to have the power, love and sound mind that Paul spoke about in the Bible.
- I am determined to stop negative thoughts that keep me from being able to will God's blessings into my life.
Life is a challenging journey...but one assurance that we all have is that it will end.
I don't want to live a life of fear and doubt. I want to leave my mark on this world by living out my purpose and knowing that who I was made a difference to someone.
I will continue this discussion as I fight, pray, and live through it.
If you deal with fear (of anything) and it's holding you back (I'm pretty sure it is) in any way, then I'd challenge you to acknowledge it, name it, then make a decision to either continue to let it follow/lead you or to walk away from it!
NO MORE FEAR!
I am AFRAID!
WOW...that was more difficult than I thought it would be!
I am admitting to everyone (ok, whoever will read this), that I deal with fear!
Why in the world would I be afraid?
I didn't really know how to describe my fear until TODAY after a conversation with a friend and mentor who guided me to this conclusion:
I'm afraid of myself!
I know that doesn't make much sense, but this is what I'm saying...
I'm afraid of the power that is within me!
I'm afraid of the consequences AND responsibilities that come with who I am and who God made me.
I'm afraid of doing the things that I am purposed to do because of what will happen as a result (in my life and the lives of others)...change, growth, empowerment, increased knowledge, new life, joy, wealth, etc.
I'm afraid of myself!
As soon as I started writing this post, I thought about the famous quote by Franklin Roosevelt where he said the "only thing to fear is fear itself" but what in the world does that mean to me?
It means that when I fear I LOSE my power.
So, I should actually fear being afraid because it leaves me powerless.
It keeps me from moving into my purpose and destiny and keeps me in a place of uncertainty, doubt, lack, and despair.
Well, TODAY, I am making the decision to acknowledge the fear and walk away from it.
- I am determined to have the power, love and sound mind that Paul spoke about in the Bible.
- I am determined to stop negative thoughts that keep me from being able to will God's blessings into my life.
Life is a challenging journey...but one assurance that we all have is that it will end.
I don't want to live a life of fear and doubt. I want to leave my mark on this world by living out my purpose and knowing that who I was made a difference to someone.
I will continue this discussion as I fight, pray, and live through it.
If you deal with fear (of anything) and it's holding you back (I'm pretty sure it is) in any way, then I'd challenge you to acknowledge it, name it, then make a decision to either continue to let it follow/lead you or to walk away from it!
NO MORE FEAR!
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