Pace Yourself through the Storms

Last night, there was a terrible thunderstorm.  Lightning, thunder, and a DOWN POUR of rain.  I left Greensboro (from class) to head back to Durham and the entire drive was through this terrible storm. 
There were periods of heavy rain, flashes of lightning that lit up the night sky and rolls of thunder that at some points were pretty scary.

From the time I got onto I-85 until the time I took my exit to my house, I stayed behind a white SUV.  This SUV had on his emergency flashers and maintained a safe speed in the middle lane.
I used this car to guide me home.
He was my pacer.  He kept a steady speed and drove safely the entire time. 
He remained in a lane where there wasn't a lot of water building up on the side of the road.
Even as cars sped by and trucks were itching to get around him, he maintained a safe and consistent speed throughout the storm.

I started to think about how I've been led through storms in my life in this very same way.
Either God's Spirit, his Word or those he has placed in my life at those times, have served as "pacers" or guides for me:

• God's Spirit within us helps us maintain a steady and safe speed throughout life's storms to let us know that we are safe and ok as long as we continue to follow and trust him.  If I hadn't seen how safely the white SUV was driving, I wouldn't have trusted him to lead me.We know that we can trust God because he's proven to us (many times before) that he can be trusted and that in him, we are safe.
• As we read and become grounded in his word, it also serves as a way for us to maintain our pace and make it through the hardships of life.  God's word serves as a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path (Psalm 119:105) and helps to guide through WHATEVER life presents.
• God also sends people into our lives with spirits of peace, joy and love who serve as a model to follow and walk with.  They are not in a hurry to get through life or "fix" everything that's going on.  They realize that there is purpose in everything that we endure and they maintain their love, peace and joy.

I was so happy for this new way of looking of God's goodness and faithfulness towards me.
He always makes a way for me to truly SEE how much he loves me and that even through the "storms" of life, I can look to him to help me pace myself to safety. 

Tell SELF to kick rocks...

Deep down, I believe that we all want to be accepted...
We long for our families, friends, co-workers and others to accept us for who we are with hopes that we will be good enough, smart enough, cool enough, etc...
Sometimes we deceive ourselves and say that we don't care what others think of us, but ultimately, I believe that is a defense mechanism that we use to protect ourselves from REJECTION.

However, recently, I've been confronted with different situations where I've noticed that people generally do not want to ACCEPT the things about ourselves that often lead others to reject us.
In other words...SELF is in the way.

For example, we want others to accept us, yet we will not ACCEPT the fact that we're SELFish or SELF-centered and that if others don't agree with us, we push them away or dismiss them.
Or, we want people to spend time with us, yet we will not ACCEPT the fact that sometimes we aren't very friendly or we bring people down when they are in our presence.

Soooo, instead of working on ourselves, we take on attitudes like:
"Well, if they don't like me, so what?  I don't need them anyway."

But, deep down, we really want to be accepted....
The funny thing is...the desire to be accepted and even acceptable, will start to bring to light, the things about us that we need to work on; yet, we are blinded to our own flaws and shortcomings.
Sometimes, we need to stop, look in the mirror, and ask God to show us the things about OURSELVES that we need to change.

We tend to focus so much on other people and what they aren't doing right that we miss the purpose of self-examination.

Growth is difficult and very uncomfortable, but the reward is that we will change and take on a character that not only others will accept, but one that God will accept.

So, the next time you are quick to dismiss others for their non-consent and discontent of your "ways," kick pride to the side and ask God to help you be better.

Tell SELF to "kick rocks," and seek to figure out what areas of your life need to change and grow.

"Freedom's Eve"

New Year's Eve, for many is a time to gather with family and friends and reflect on the past year and welcome in the new year. 

But, many Christians go to church on NYE (as we call it) and it has become somewhat of a tradition in the African American community.  People gather in church around 9 and they worship and sing together, praising God for bringing them through another year and asking for God's blessings as they enter the next.

I, too, have attended my share of New Year's Eve "Watch Night" services.

As the child of a pastor, I often disliked going because I wanted to go to a party, hang out with friends or even just stay at home and watch the events at Times Square in NYC...but I went to church and I usually enjoyed it.

As I got older and started to search for meaning behind the traditions that we often practice, I found out that Watch Night service in the Black church really came from something called, "Freedom's Eve."

"Freedom’s Eve” occurred on December 31, 1862...and on that night, Blacks came together in churches and private homes all across the nation, anxiously awaiting news that the Emancipation Proclamation actually had become law. Then, at the stroke of midnight, it was January 1, 1863, and all slaves in the Confederate States were declared legally FREE.

When the news was received, there were prayers, shouts and songs of joy as people fell to their knees and thanked God. Black folks have gathered in churches annually on New Year’s Eve ever since, praising God for bringing us safely through another year.

(Of course, it took years for all states to implement this new proclamation and free the slaves, but they were legally free.)

As I look forward to 2012, I probably won't be at a watch night service, however, I definitely plan to spend some time in worship to God to not only thank Him for seeing me through another year, but also to PRAISE Him for my FREEDOM... Because of Him, I'm able to live in True FREEDOM.  I'd urge you to do the same.

For those of you who ARE going to church, remember why you're there.

Don't go into the service and leave with the same bondage and heavy load. 

Remember that God's desire is for us to live in FREEDOM...Freedom from the bondage of sin, oppression, worry, fear, poverty, anger, hurt, resentment, etc....

So, if you're sitting in church on NYE worried about how you're going to pay your bills in 2012, full of bitterness and hatred against someone who hurt you, or just scared to move forward in purpose, then it would be a good time to get free. 

If you don't, 2012 will be the exact same as 2011...trust me.

Wherever you find yourself, in church, in your home, or at a party, release yourself from bondage and claim your freedom. 

Let New Year's Eve be your "Freedom's Eve" and when the clock strikes midnight, claim your freedom in 2012. 

Release yourself into a new year with an expectation that it will be full of peace, love, abundance, prosperity of health, greater self-discipline, courage, entrepreneurship, obedience to God's voice, loving relationships with family and friends, purposeful determination.

This “patient love”

One of my favorite definitions of love is located in the book of 1 Corinthians.  In the 13^th chapter, Paul writes about the importance of love and gives his understanding of what love is and is not.  He leads into the definition by saying that if we have all of these talents and abilities but do not have love then nothing else really matters.  In verse 4, he begins to really get into the description of love:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

The very first adjective that Paul uses to describe love is the word PATIENT.  What does he really mean by using this term to describe love?  Many people view the word love as a noun.  They look at it as something that we possess or hold in our hearts.  Others view the word love as a verb, because it is seen as something that we do; an action.  Whichever way you look at it, Paul says that it’s “patient.”

If we look at the word, patient, and it’s definition we find: 

1. capable of waiting: able to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset

2. capable of persevering: able to persevere calmly, especially when faced with difficulties

So, does this mean that love waits and endures without becoming annoyed or upset?  Does it mean that it perseveres through difficulty in a calm manner?  For Paul, apparently so.

But, how can we love patiently or experience a patient love when everything in our society and culture speaks contrary to this idea?  Usually, when we say that we love someone or believe that someone loves us, we automatically start the clock.  We begin to put time frames on our lives and theirs simply because love is present.  In relationships, people automatically start planning the engagement or the wedding once someone used the term love.

I’d like to think, however, that love is just the beginning of building a solid foundation for a relationship.  It takes time to create the type of love that Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13, which is why I think he started with “love is patient.”  The word love should not be pressure filled and create stress and anxiety for those who give or receive it.  God’s desire is for everyone to love and be loved.  This “patient love” is what many people, especially those who desire to be married, need to learn and practice.  Before thinking about the wedding or your ideal honeymoon destination, perhaps couples should learn to love patiently.  Love in a way where they are waiting for the right timing to move into the next step.  Loving patiently might mean taking time to learn about someone’s values, goals, dreams, and spiritual desires.  Loving patiently might mean being in a relationship but also vigorously pursuing your own destiny, dreams and God-given purpose as he or she does the same so that should the relationship grow into more, the two will be whole and complete before joining as one.

Perhaps if we learn how to love patiently, we will learn more about God and how to love Him and do more of what He desires of us.  An evaluation of past mistakes helped me understand how I need to live and enforce a patient love.  I’m happy because I see the results of being patient and not having so many pressure filled expectations of those we love.  God desires to teach us how to give and receive love His way. 

 Just remember that all things work together for our good if we LOVE Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  So, as long as we keep loving God and living out His purpose for our lives, everything else will come together for our good.  So, practice more patience in your love for others.  If you are married, be more patient with your spouse.  If you are a parent, be more patient with your children.  In your relationships, practice waiting without becoming annoyed and trust God to work it out for your good.  Focus on becoming a better person, pursue your dreams and walk in your destiny. 

In the words (and voice) of Pastor Joel Osteen, "Do you believe it on today?"  :-) 

If He brought you to it...

For anyone who has ever actively attended church, or Sunday school, you've heard different "cliche-like" terms that have become commonplace in the church.

For example,
"I'm too blessed to be stressed, too anointed to be disappointed,"  or
"If it had not been for the Lord who was on my side, where would I be?"
or my personal favorite,
"God is good, all the time and ......c'mon you know what to say....all the time, God is good." RIGHT!!!  :-)

And, while most of these terms are based on scripture or someones personal testimony, they often are repeated in concert by the church with no real connection to the message behind the cliche.  In some cases, they have become ways for people to sound and be, what I like to call, "churchy."

As you develop a personal relationship with God, our creator, you start to get a better understanding of what people really mean and feel when they say things like that.
YOU start to understand and even witness the actual goodness of God in your own life and even through the difficult times, you learn that God IS good!

Well, I was thinking about where I am right now and what I should blog and one of these "churchy cliches" came to mind and it is reflective of where I have been and where I am and probably where I'll continue to be.

"If He brought you to it, He'll take you through it!"
This message popped into my mind and I started to think about all the things He (God) had brought me TO.  For the purposes of my relationship with God, I look at "brought me" the same as "allowed."  I believe that God, in many situations, ALLOWS us to endure different situations and doesn't necessarily bring those situations upon us. 
Nevetheless...
He "brought me" to a period of unemployment and "lack," but eventually, I walked with Him through it and now I'm gainfully employed.
He "brought me" to a period of loneliness and heartache, but as I continued to keep my eyes on Him, I'm experiencing more joy in my life because I'm surrounded by love from family and friends.
And those are just two examples of how I've witnessed this saying in my own life.

Usually, people use this saying to encourage others during times of hardship and suffering.
We are encouraging them to keep their focus on God and He will bring us through every situation because He will never leave us or forsake us.

But, recently, I've had to shift the relevance and application of this saying to my life right now.
Now, I'm at a place where God is actually bringing me to some of His PROMISES for me!
YAY!!
So many incredible opportunities to live out my dreams and to fulfill His destiny for me, are right at my fingertips, and I'm excited, but somewhat fearful of what lies ahead.
So, when I think about the phrase, "If He brought you to it, He'll take you through it," I think it also applies to the good times and His promises.

Often, we are more fearful of the promises than we are of the pain.
Our pain becomes so much of a consistent part of life that we can't imagine a life without pain and heartache or disappointment.
So, when we begin experiencing the harvest season of life, we can't even believe that God really does allow His Son and sun to shine in our lives.
So we become afraid instead of believing that if He promised it and brought it to us, then we will get to the other side of that promise into destiny!

The good news is that, if we are in relationship with Him, God will walk in front of us allowing his favor to go before us into places that we would never imagine and He's walking beside us to help us learn how to experience Him through faith.

If He brought you to it (allowed it to happen in your life, sent his abundant blessings your way, answered your prayers, making all things work together for your good), then He will bring you through it (to a place of destiny, fruitfulness, and joy).

Stretch...you'll feel better!

I was sitting at my desk and was feeling really drained.
In August, I started a new job and a PhD program and I've been going full speed ever since.
I feel like I haven't had much time to enjoy the leisurely activities that I did during my time of unemployment (rest).
And, oh how I miss my Zumba classes (I need to find some that fit into my schedule ASAP)!

But, as I sat and thought about how tired I felt, I decided to stand up and stretch.
I walked over to the window in my office, lifted my arms above my head and pulled my body into a deep stretch...then, I bent down and stretched my back and legs.  When I stood up, I felt much better!
I felt a lot of the tightness and tension leave my body and even felt a burst of energy that helped me continue the rest of the day.

I think life sometimes requires us to stretch to feel better.
We often become bogged down with the routine and tired from all of the roles we play in life.
When we're able to "stretch" our minds and our spirits to focus on something else, it often helps us feel a lot better.

But, how do we "stretch," mentally, spiritually and emotionally?

Do something different to change your perspective about where you are and what's important
- Take a leisurely walk with no clear destination - observe, meditate, smile
- Eat your lunch outside
- Start a conversation with a stranger
- Take a moment to stand outside and look up in the sky (it's amazing how much clarity you receive when you realize how small you are in this giant world)
- Take deep breaths (you will notice how very little we are actually breathing!)

These may seem like really simple acts, but how often do you really take a minute to do such things?
How often do we feel like we don't have the time to take a minute and enjoy life and our surroundings?

What are some of the things you do to "stretch" throughout the day?

Does It Even Matter?

I have been reflecting lately on some of my personal characteristics and how I experience life.  I'm often mindful of when I am not being true to myself or beginning to worry about things going on.  Lately, I have been thinking about how much I tend to worry about what others will think or say about my choices in life. So many times we hold ourselves back from joy and happiness because of fear of what people might think or say. But I'm learning that no matter what you do, people will have something to think or say about you. What matters most is what God says or thinks; and for the most part His ways And thoughts are not like ours!
As we draw closer to Him and begin to understand the plans He has for us, sometimes it requires us to take a path that isn't always understood or doesn't even make sense to other people.  I believe it is our individual journeys and our collective faith that makes our connection with God and His purpose for our lives so great!
So at some point we just need to live...mistakes and all....so we can know that power and share with others.