Strength Courage and Wisdom

This song has been in my heart since yesterday...I wanted to share the lyrics and encourage you to read these and think/meditate on what they're saying:

"Strength, Courage & Wisdom" by India.Arie

Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long
'Cause I've been, too afraid to let it show
'Cause I'm scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith, It's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

[Chorus:]
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And it's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me

Behind my pride there lives a me, that knows humility
Inside my voice there is a soul, and in my soul there is a voice
But I've been, too afraid to make a choice
'Cause I'm scared of the things that I might be missing
Running too fast to stop and listen
It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith it's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

[Chorus:]

finding your own way...

I haven't blogged in a while but I've been feeling like I need to write because of so much happening around me.

This week, I lost my 4th paternal aunt to breast cancer.
It seems strange to see 4 beautiful, strong women die to such an awful disease.
So, I'm going to make it my business to support breast cancer research efforts and do my part to fight this battle.

Well, I feel the summer coming to an end and as the seasons change, I feel like other things are changing, too.
Fall brings an opportunity to re-prioritize some things in life and look at what's important. So often we focus on things are not important and usually those things are distractions from keeping our attention on what God has for us....our future and our destiny.

I am excited because I've decided to embark on some new projects and open myself up to experience some NEW things...I'm ready for change.
I'm ready to experience God in a different way.
I'm ready to experience LIFE and LOVE in a new way.

So, as I was thinking about the changes that are happening in my life and around my life, I began to think about what changes I want to make to my hair, of course.
I think about so many different styles I'd like to try or different products that might work well on my hair. But, I always end up right back to what's familiar.
That's because of FEAR. Fear to try something new on my own because I might mess it up.
So what if I mess up? So what if my hair isn't perfect?
At least I would've tried and the next time I try it, it'll be better because I didn't give up.

So many times, we are crippled by and become stale and stagnant because of FEAR.
It keeps us from exploring the world around us and stepping out in faith to do new things.
God wants us to have LIFE and have it more abundantly and I don't believe that there is room for fear in an abundant life.

So, I'm going to release fear of change and newness and continue to allow the freedom that I have to propel me to new purpose and a renewed sense of creativity; not just with my hair but with my life in general.

More to come....

hard to stay straight...

I got my hair straightened on Friday so that I could get it cut.
I wanted to get some of it cut and also since my highlights were growing out, I decided to go ahead and get the rest of the color cut out.
So, it was straight and I went through the entire weekend worrying about keeping it straight. I would flat iron it and the humidity would hit it and it would get puffy.
It was so uncomfortable having to worry about how my hair looked and making sure it kept its style.
I was also worried about continuing to flat iron it because I don't want my hair to stay straight and not be able to go back to its natural texture.

I woke up this morning around 4:45am and couldn't go back to sleep.
So, I decided to get up and twist my hair...When I wet my hair and saw my natural curls I was actually happy.
I felt like myself again. I much rather wear my hair natural than straight.

The message for me in all of this is, I've come to embrace my "new self." Straight hair is a reminder of the old me...always worried about how I look...so self-conscious about appearance and making sure that every hair is in its proper place. So worried that I'll look bad if my hair isn't perfect. I don't live that way anymore. My natural hair is a crown for me. Through this hair journey, I've found confidence and a sense of self that I've never experienced before. I LOVE the way I feel about myself and it shows.
So, I rather be true to who I've become and who I am than to try to go back and forth with something that's really not me.
I know it's good to be versatile and flexible, but straight hair (for me) is so overrated right now. It's conventional, regular, and hard for me to maintain.
And maybe I'll revisit the straight look later, but for now, I think I'll keep flowing naturally!!!

The message for you...Be YOU! Once you realize who you are, be that! Don't allow pressures to look like others or be like others cause you to veer from who you know you really are! Dare to be unique and to be the individual that you were created to be. Others will be blessed as a result of you being true to who you are.

HAIR TIP/PRODUCT ALERT:

Currently, I'm twisting my hair with a combination of Carol's Daughter Loc Butter and Miss Jessie's Curly Buttercreme. I like the texture of both of these products and when combined they cause my hair to be soft and full of sheen/shine.
I like the twist out style because it gives a little length to my curls and is a cute everyday style.

I was twisting my hair the other day and I always notice that the front of my hair is straighter than the rest of my hair. I always get so frustrated with these hairs because they don't curl up on the ends like the rest of my hair. I always have to roll the ends to make them curly. Such an inconvenience!

But, I started thinking about the bigger picture of it all and I thought back to the fact that my hair is not just about my hair but about me as a person.
So, I changed my perspective of the straight hair.
The straight hair reminds me of who I used to be....the old me, per se.
I started thinking about the shift I've gone through since I've changed my hair.
I used to be afraid to be who I truly am.
I used to be so worried about what others thought of me.
I used to be so concerned with pleasing other people through my actions.
I didn't understand that loving God and pleasing Him doesn't simply mean not breaking any "rules" but more about living according to His word and allowing Him to guide me and lead me on this journey of life.

The straight hair that remains on my head also reminds me that as long as I'm on this Earth, I will never be perfect and there will constantly be parts of ME that I need to work on to be more like the Margaret that God wants me to be.

Now, I can really appreciate the woman I'm becoming.
Through all of the storms and trials, I'm constantly learning who I am as a woman and more importantly, I'm learning who God wants me to be.

30...now what?

So, I turned 30 on 7/24 and I must say that it actually FEELS like I'm older now.
It's amazing how much more freedom we experience by turning a year older.

Sometimes we get stuck in a specific mindset or a way of thinking...but when we realize that we're getting older, it causes us to take a look at our point of view and paradigm on life and figure out if that's the mindset we want to take into the next year of our life.

When I think about this journey that I'm on, I realize that everything is happening in my life at the appointed time. There are phases and changes that I am going through that should be happening right now instead of times in the past or future.
So, it's not for me to wonder, "why now," or "why me?," but it's for me to just walk it all out, make my mistakes, learn the lessons and keep it moving.

Woke up this morning
Smile was on my face
New opportunities
Today I will embrace
Yesterday is dead and gone
And I'm moving on
Great things in store for me
Walking in my Victory

I am TOTALLY FREE
No chains holding me
Walking towards destiny
I am, I am

reflection

Soon, I'll be celebrating my 30th birthday (less than one week)!
It's interesting because when I think back to age 21 and where I thought I'd be by age 30 it might seem somewhat depressing. We make all these plans when we're young about the house we'll live in, the car we'll drive, the career and family we'll have and then none of it happens that way. But, I am soooo grateful for the journey I'm on and the path that has gotten me to this point in life. I've gone through a lot of experiences that have prepared me for the next phase of adulthood. I am experiencing a freedom like none other because I know that EVERYTHING is alright.

When I was going through the transitioning process, it was difficult for me to see what the texture of my natural hair was. So, I would often get discouraged because it just seemed like I wasn't making any progress. Then, my hair started growing much faster. And as I worked through it with different natural styles, I started to notice more texture at the roots and was then able to envision the hair that would start to cover my entire head.

I look at my life the same way. Now, instead of making so many "plans," I am envisioning the life I want to live and I am working towards the vision. God has something so great in store for me and I want to be in tuned enough to see it and patient enough to work and wait for it.

"Life is a Journey, not a destination. There are no regrets, just chances we've taken." India Arie

true to self

I straightened my hair yesterday and I feel somewhat strange.
I know it sounds weird, but I've been wearing my hair in natural styles for a while now, without straightening it.
Well, I wanted to straighten it for a photo shoot I did and once I did that, I didn't want to wear it that way for long.
I've gotten compliments over the past couple of days and I see how much my hair has grown, but part of my spirit feels low!
Why is it that peole always compliment the "straight" look?
I mean, I get compliments about my hair period, but I've noticed that I get complimented more when my hair is straight.
I don't like that.
I feel like washing my hair and twisting it so I can get back to my "normal" self.
I feel "regular."
I don't like feeling regular...my true self has evolved over the past year and I don't feel a connection to this "look" anymore!
I won't keep my hair like this too much longer!
Oh well, this was a random post but I just wanted to share my thoughts.